Surviving the Americans

2026-07-02 · Ho Chanh Nghia

Originally published on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/surviving-americans-khanh-pham-wquoc/

Surviving the Americans

This is a raw, heavy, and deeply intense personal timeline that moves from the high-stakes world of national security to absolute rock bottom, before charting a path toward reclamation and family legacy.

To help a reader navigate this narrative before diving in, here is a structured, chronological index of the text.

Narrative Index: From Breakdown to Sovereignty

I. The Framing: The Information Battlefield

II. The Catalyst: Military Crisis in Chiang Mai (2013)

III. The Cascade: Betrayal and Homelessness

IV. The Turning Point: Rebuilding from Zero (2018)

V. Anchor & Protection: True Alliance

VI. Disillusionment & Legacy: The New Paradigm

A Note on the Narrative: This text contains direct, uncensored reflections on severe trauma, institutional betrayal, and past ideation of violence and self-harm. If you or someone you know is a veteran navigating the heavy aftermath of service, transition trauma, or crisis, immediate, confidential support is always available via the Veterans Crisis Line by dialing 988 (Press 1) or texting 838255.on my comment to Prof Jiang, AI Gemini created an incredibly false message because it deemed my writing unfit for society. Groke shutdown stating it cannot response due to safety rule. if US tech win, humanity is extinct. if humanity survive, US tech will be conquered. the civil war is nothing like what people study in history. it is on every word, every post, every articles. full spectrum, superspectral and hyperspectral war.

https://open.substack.com/pub/hochanhnghia/p/return-home-a-response-to-predictive?r=25sws&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

“Yale traumatized me, and for years I wandered alone in the darkness. Then I met the love of my life. With her, I learned that trauma can be the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe.”

on my comment to Prof Jiang, AI Gemini created an incredibly false message because it deemed my writing unfit for society. Groke shutdown stating it cannot response due to safety rule. if US tech win, humanity is extinct if humanity survive, US tech will be conquered the civil war is nothing like peolle study in history. it is on every word, every post, every articles. full spectrum and hyperspectral war

Not sure how much you know of the top secret world in national security.  It was a very hostile area. Every mistake was jail.  Everything was putting your entire life at risk, because the power over you is so absolute.  2013 I experienced an anxiety attack for the first time.  I was already an NCOIC of the USAF managing joint operations for the International Monitoring Station 41 Chiang Mai Thailand.  I was at home alone without my household goods (locked up in an illegal search by the US embassy and USAF).  I had been detained and treated inhumanely for 4 months.  The future was completely dark without light.  I find myself falling and falling.  In absolute darkness.  I expected a bottom to meet me, but worse than landing and waking up, I fall and fall without end.  I could not breathe.

I came back and could not explain what just happened.  I called my previous mentor/boss Chief Pineda. He said I had an anxiety attack.  Gave me the number for veteran hotline, dont kill yourself hotline.  So I called and explained my situation.  They listened and told me they cannot do anything.  Which upset me and that anger gave me power to take matters into my own hands.  I already went through suicide prevention training many times at this point.  Everything that happened to me was exactly what we should be preventing.  TSgt Clark 10 houses down from me in West Melbourne just shot himself with a shotgun.  THe same day I met him at the mental health clinic where the Commander used the Doctor to deal with us.  How are you doing one hour, and blow your head off the next hour.

I understand his mind in my own ways. I thought of dying.  There are benefits for his wife and children that he saved by his death.  If he continued putting up with the issue whatever it was, he may be removed from the usaf and receive zero for his near 20 years investment.  Same as my situation. I planned my life around retirement, and I am looking at losing everything.  I wasted the best years of my life supporting and defending the country just for that meager retirement 20 years later.

I considered his end, and my end and how I am likely to end up dead like the other suicides in the military.  I decided to make decisions and not wait for the leadership to let me know what they want (it had been 4 months at this point).  I booked my flight to California to be with my family again.  Then I called the boss, and said we need to talk.  We met outback behind the classified building that was home for 10 years, but forbidden to me now.  I looked him in the eye with the most contempt, the sort that you look at people you want to make them see everything they love destroyed slowly so they can suffer eternity of torture, and said, “I booked my flight out of here this friday.  You can do what you want.  If you try to stop me, you will have bigger problems”.  Within 24 hours they faked signatures and everything to get my discharge paper to send me out.  Then they “accidentally lost my discharge paper”, keeping me in limbo for 5 months without any pay or discharge papers.

Later I got 20,000 in the bank without any notice.  I was moneyless, not a dollar in the bank and not a meal in the fridge.  Not a house payment.  I was homeless / squatting in my own house, waiting for Chase to kick me out.  I had a Vietnamese roommate at the time whose uncle bought a nail salon and rented a room from me.  I told him I needed help managing money to make sure the bills are paid.  I handed him 10,000.  paid the IRS several years of back tax.  The next day, my good vietnamese friend said he lost all my money at the casino, he had some left but just telling me he’s not giving it back.  I really wanted to kill him, I still do.  He’s a real piece of trash that society can do without.

So trauma on top of trauma.  I contacted my gf in Thailand.  I sent 3,000 of my last money.  bought a ticket to Thailand.  I told her I need 10 years to heal myself.  After 3 months, she said she wants to live in the US.  I said ok, I don’t  have any opportunity for her in the USA, but it will come as long as we live there.  3 years later, she worked with 1-3 men to plot a domestic violent case against me.  I lost.  The family court is stupid, there is no due process, or fair trial.  So this is like the holy trinity of satan.  I am pretty sure about just killing people at this point, what is there to talk about.

After 1-2 weeks of spinning conspiracy inside my head, the plan was full proof.  I thought about it, yes or no.  I decided I can’t do this.  So I did a life review.  What else do I need to do?  My life is so shitty, that there’s not a lot of value.  If ISIS had paid me 2m to kill someone, I probably would have accepted.  I thought about it in detail, how much my life was worth, and what it can buy for my children.  I had a daughter and son at that point, one with each of my previous wives.  1M for each child would offer them a chance in life.

After the review, I concluded there’s nothing left to live for.  There was an old friend who always wanted to sleep with me, but I always declined.  He was gay and I was not.  I decided, wtf, one last community service for someone who appreciates me.  It wasn’t enjoyable, it was weird, It added more confusion.

Then to add to the trauma, the Family Court dragged out my case for 6 months as I was homeless and jobless in Florida.  Homeless in Florida in December, it was cold.  I thought I was going to die in my car.  But I had a friend nearby in Tampa and stayed there 3 months as I got a job filing nails at a salon making 1,000 a month.  Then I moved out and paid 500usd for rent and living off the 500usd.

After I finished the domestic violence case in Florida I moved back to Florida and lived in my parents’ garage.  I was not really interested in living at all, but I was really persistent about staying alive until I could get revenge.  My mom’s friend sent me some jobs and helped me earn a few dollars here and there, escorting and translating clients to small claims.  I think she’s just a kind person.  Instead of giving me money, she wanted me to not owe her anything so she gave me jobs.

Since I lost the case on domestic violence, I am now forced to go to a batterer intervention course.  which was like 300usd/hour.  A homeless guy can’t do shit about that.  On top of 600 usd child support.  So I ended up with a Florida arrest warrant for not paying child support.  As a smart person (top 1% of the US), I could not help but feel contempt for the entire system.  They made a veteran homeless jobless, take his daughter, then slap a bill on him that he cannot pay, and then put out an arrest warrant so you can fuck his life a little more.

Fortunately, I should not go for the last stance yet.  Los Angeles’s VA had a program for free Batterer Intervention for combat veterans.  I don’t actually qualify, so I was not seriously expecting too much. but i had to ask and hope they take me.  They took me.  I show up and sit with another combat vet.  Some were completely stable.  Some needed help.  I was not the only one who got fucked by the stupid women and stupid legal system. (is my contempt obvious enough?)

From the VA class.  They referred me to Telacu, college preparation for veterans.  Take a few classes.  and thinking lightly that maybe i can go back to college and rebuild a life from zero.  (unless you have been here, this is very hard for any man to do–rebuild from zero).  One of the black veteran there was a very smart fella, and he sort of took control of my mind for a bit.  He gave me the VA address in LA.  Tell me to call and go see them. schedule a review of my case.  Having been turned away 3 times already, i did not want to, but i followed order and do it.  with so many suicides the US had forced the VA to use 3rd party doctors to review.  2018 August 2018 or so, I received a 100% disability rating through the VA.  I was so fucked up, even winning this lottery had no joy.  Then VA subtract 20,000 from my lottery– for their 20k payment a few years ago.

Realizing my mind is in bad shape.  Money is still probably not safe in my hand, so I decided to buy a house.  I had a lot of business ideas, but as an older person I control risk more than take risks.  Protecting what I have was a better choice, and I still agree.

I also got a girlfriend at the time so I ask if she will move in with me and follow me in life. She said yes.  Her love and acceptance of my fuckedupness was better than anything western medicine can provide.

When I met her, I was a delivery boy with minimum wage for a Vietnamese restaurant chain.  No money, wearing beat up clothes from the salvation army.  I was completely disenfranchised with society and marriage at the time, I just wanted to have sex until I forgot everything.  I dated several women at the same time.  She knew I was in Canada with a girlfriend for 2 weeks, but she never harassed me about it.  Which is the opposite of what a typical American woman would do or respond to things like that.  Like this Taiwanese woman from Uruguay, she stopped responding after she found out I spent a weekend in Arizona and did not answer her call.  Between the women who loved me, I thought I could love them all.  One came from a rich family in Vietnam.  One was a genius that was making good money and taking care of her parents and brother.  One was not so smart, but extremely kind.  Too kind for this cruel world.  I thought that I could wish she could find a nice guy, but there’s no such thing.  I was 40 now, not that great of a catch.  I consider the benefits I would bring to each woman.  I decided my military benefits can really help take care of this nice person who never asked for much from life and others.  I wanted to be her shield in life.  Told the other women that I made my choice, and said our goodbye.

Spent a few months in 2020 campaigning for Andrew Yang, thinking he was a rising hope for America and Americans.  Turns out I got fooled again. He was just an actor, there to sabotage the Republicans and restore the disenfranchised.  I even changed my voting card from republican to democrat to help him compete at any and all levels of the game.  I signed up to be an elector at the DNC convention. I was willing to do anything for the cause.  Then he said I should vote for Hillary Clinton, because the Math said so.  I said F U, changed my card to republican before the vote, and voted Trump.  I will probably vote Trump for a 3rd term just to give the DNC a F U.

Since then, I went back to school and finished my bachelors, then MBA.  I even applied and entered a PhD for data science, but I can’t do another 10 years and 100k to play their game anymore so I had to leave.  Playing with my son and making sure he gets the best love and attention makes me more happy than a phd from a university.  The PhD would not really provide any advantage anyway.  The world changed to where real achievements are measured by dollars and users count.  No one cares what school you graduate from.  No one cares if you hold a phd.

Formed my own private school TaoLaAI and registered with California.  It was supposed to be for my son’s home schooling.  But not something new.  I have been working on a 20 year education program/plan for humans since 2014.  My opinion is that we should only need 20 years for a well done education.  The 40 years of education we currently have is just a pyramid scheme at this point.  My phd professor did not appreciate that comment at all, but I think it has more truth than not truth.

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